The First Snow

This is the original post I had written for last week, before I switched it out (See last week’s post). The snow is all gone now and the weather got so warm this week that we were outside in shorts and T-shirts – in November – in Canada. Go figure! But in 2020, I guess anything and everything is possible!

I woke up this morning feeling inspired to write. What was so different this morning? Well, we had our first significant snowfall of the season last night. It’s a little early and it will all be gone by the end of the week, but for this morning, I got to look outside at the fresh blanket that had settled in over night. Even for those people who hate snow, there is a common consensus of its beauty.

This morning’s snow looked especially magnificent juxtaposed against the brilliant yellows and reds of the trees still hanging on to hope that they may get to keep their leaves for a little while longer. It’s a futile hope because like everything in life, time doesn’t stop. It just keeps chugging along no matter what we do. The leaves will fall, the snow will come, and the sun will set before we ring the dinner bell. That’s just how it works.

I’m okay with that. I’m okay with the snow and I’m okay with the darker evenings. It just allows me to light my candles a little earlier and enjoy their flame a little longer than I would in the summer months. And if you’ve never taken a walk in a heavy snowfall, then you’ve been missing one of the most soulful experiences you could ever have – well at least I think so. Unless the wind is whipping, falling snow makes nary a sound. And once it hits the ground, it seems to incubate all the other sounds around it, making for the most peaceful silence. It’s truly breathtaking.

Call me crazy, and yes many have, but one of my favorite things in life is to get all bundled up and go for a walk in a snowstorm, especially at night. The sheer beauty and majesty of it all gives me such peace and fills my heart. Mother Nature at her finest and let’s be honest, only a woman could manage pulling off dropping two feet of snow and making it a beautiful event.

With the first snowfall of the year comes the thoughts of hunkering down and hibernation. And with this hunkering down comes the expectations of Saturday and Sunday afternoon’s snuggled on the couch in a blankie with my laptop writing. I’m always at my best this time of year. I can’t pinpoint exactly why, but I seem to just have more focus and drive, especially when it comes to writing.

I think it’s the flannel to be honest. I think that the fabric somehow stimulates my inner senses, sending bursts of energy to my brain, which then fires off a profane message to my creativity, warning it to get its shit together and get busy. That’s my theory anyways. If you have a better one, then please let me know, I’m open to all interpretations of my quirks.

Either way, waking up to snow this morning has got me thinking about the next novel I want to write, perhaps working on creating a creativity course, and of course releasing my imagination and letting it go anywhere it pleases. All this before I’ve even had my first coffee!

While some dread the winter and the cold, and I get it, it can be monotonous and overwhelming, I prefer to celebrate what it stands for. Renewal. Without winter, there wouldn’t be a spring. The earth needs a chance to rest, the soil needs a chance to replenish itself, the trees need time to gather energy from their roots so they can pop those buds in the spring. Even the bears take an extended nap.

This has been a tough year. Covid-19 has sucked the life out of all of us, me included. It’s been exhausting and unfortunately, it’s not over yet. I think the road ahead is long. Until there is a safe and secure vaccine, and everyone is inoculated, this will be our lives. And it sucks. And it hurts. I miss my family terribly. I’ve just cancelled Christmas plans. I spend most of my weekends at home alone. I’m not very happy about any of it. I can’t change what is happening, but I can control how I am reacting and dealing with it.

Renew – “to make like new: restore to freshness, vigor. To make new spiritually. To begin again.”

I think we all need to catch our breath. We all need some time to just sit and stare out the window. If you’re tired and you can nap, then nap. You’re allowed. If you get up and only change out of your pyjamas into other snuggly clothes, so what? If you somehow forget to put on a bra? Your choice.

The thing about renewal is it looks different to each and every one of us. What I find helpful, may not be your thing, and that’s okay. I’m not going to judge you, and neither should anyone else. The point is to find what works for you and then do it. You must. Even if it’s just for a few minutes a day. Tell the kids to bugger off, then make that cup of tea. You might only get a few sips in while it’s hot before they start whining, but a few sips are better than none, and more importantly, by making the tea and attempting to drink it hot, you’re taking the first steps in self-care. The first steps are always the hardest. Recognition of those first steps is key.

As I sit here looking at the snow, I already feel a sense of calm coming over me. My memories take me back to all those first snowfalls of my youth, when Mom would bundle us up and send us outside to play. The snot would be dripping onto your scarf, but no one cared because it was snowing, and that was just the best thing as a kid. I still get those same emotions now. I can’t help it. I have never quite matured past the age of five. I get so excited when the first real storm comes, the one where I can bundle up and go outside to “play” – I mean shovel. I would go outside and play today but there really isn’t enough on the ground to make a proper snow angel and I fear my neighbours might think I’m a little weird (well more than they already do).

Instead, I’m going to make a cup of tea, snuggle under my blankie and write. Or just think. Maybe think about writing. I do feel inspired, and sometimes that inspiration doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll put any concrete words on the page, it just means I’ve opened up another file folder in my head or added to one that already has pages falling out all over. I have many of those.

I know I need to slow down. I know I need to take the time. I’m not where I want to be creatively right now and that’s causing me definite angst and stress. Once again, I’ve allowed the “other” in my life to lead, and it’s just burning me out. I need to make some changes. Today. Right now.

I think Mother Nature knows where I’m at. We’re sort of tight, us “middle aged” single girls. She sensed I was struggling. She felt my tired. She knew my candle was burning low. So, what does she do? She sends an early blanket of snow to make my ass sit on the couch and think about things for a while. I love Mother Nature. She’s right on the ball that one.

And it worked. I’m feeling a creative spark today that I haven’t felt in a while. I have pages of scribbles strewn about my couch. Sure, they’re about three different projects, but at least it’s something. I know that I’ll get to where I want to go, I always do. I just need to be patient with myself and with the times we’re living in. They’re extraordinary. I don’t want to cut back on work hours in case we have to go back into lockdown, and I can’t visit my clients, so any extra stockpile of money right now is important. Sort of like a squirrel hoarding nuts for the winter. The more the better – just in case.

That leaves me with trying to make better use of my time when I am home. And so far, in the six hours or so since I woke up to the snow, I have been. I’ve written this blog, planned a healthy dinner, and played with the wax in my candle. What? I didn’t say these changes would happen overnight, just that I needed them too. But I’ve also taken some time to just sit on the couch and chill, and for me, that is a humungous first step.

So, thank you snow, thank you Mother Nature. Thank you for the coming period of hibernation and renewal. Store up your energy as best you can, so that when spring comes, and it will come, you’ll be ready to blossom, just like the leaves on the trees and buds on the flowers. It’s going to be a long stretch until spring and hopefully a vaccine, but we can do it, I know we can.

Take the time. Do a few snow angels. Or if you’re on the other side of the world, do a few sand angels at the beach. Whatever it is and whatever renew looks like to you, take the time to listen to the messages it’s sending. They’re there, I promise you they are. Hopefully, like me, it’s a blanket of snow or a gentle rain.

Take the time to check in on yourself. Take it seriously. Cause if you don’t and you keep ignoring the signs, there’s a good chance Mother Nature will step in with something drastic, and no one wants to be struck in the ass with a bolt of lightening. Trust me. She doesn’t play, that one. So, listen up the first time, if you know what’s good for you.

Peace to you all,

Trish

One last photo. My favorite little nook in the backyard. I’m so blessed to have the space I do!