Is Your Glass Half-Full or is it Half-Empty?

As I sit here in my beautiful backyard beginning the outline of my next novel, I’m struck by just this intense sense of gratitude and peace in my heart. It’s a place I’ve longed to get to these past few years, and now that I’m here, I cannot be more thankful or more aware of just how lucky I am.

It hasn’t been easy. I didn’t just wake up one morning and discover it was there. It’s been a lot of time and a lot of effort to get me to a place where I can write the words that truly reflect how I’m feeling in my heart. And a lot of tears. There have been a lot of tears and so many questions that just never seem to have answers – or at least the answers that we want to hear.

Pain sorrow and hardship are not fun, but they are a necessary part of life. Until you know how it feels to have the glass half empty, you’ll never appreciate the times when the glass is half full, and if you never appreciate that, then you’ll have no clue when it’s absolutely overflowing. You’ll always be waiting and wondering.

I was talking with a good friend the other day, and she was expressing how another friend of hers always wonders when “life is going to get better”, like it’s something we can just pencil into our calendars. And I understand her desire, I truly do. I’ve been down the depths, where your heart and your gut feel like they’ve been ripped apart with a dull blade. Where everywhere you turn there’s a roadblock or some gigantic hill to climb, AGAIN, and you’re exhausted, and your will is just holding on, and you just don’t think you can make it.

Those are the times you need to dig your heels in my friends. Dig those heels in and do not let go. Do not let go of all your hopes and dreams. Do not let go of all the things you’ve worked for and all the things that set your heart on fire. Do not give up!

I get that things might be hard right now. I get that you’re feeling like everything is stacked against you. I get that you just want to scream. So, scream. Find yourself a space and let it out. Let out all of the anger and the hurt and the pain you’re holding in. Screaming won’t make it go away but it will make you feel a little bit better.

Then, take a deep breath and take stock of where you’re at. You can do this. You can move forward. Whatever it is, you are strong enough to take that first step. If you need help or encouragement, then reach out, you are not alone. There are so many people out there who are struggling. There are so many people out there who are fighting for each step.

I’m not saying you have to take a giant leap; baby steps are just as good, and sometimes even more important. We are living in such a crazy time right now. The world is on fire and truth is being questioned at every turn. The only truth we can really be sure of is the truth that lies in our own hearts and minds. It’s that truth that gets us up in the morning and keeps us going in this madness.

Your job is to distinguish what is fact and what is fiction in your life. What stories do you keep telling yourself to try and make the fiction into fact? I can’t do it? It’s too hard? I’m not strong enough? I’m not worthy enough? Everyone will judge me? Any of those sound familiar?

When we continually tell ourselves these negative stories, our minds become resigned to these so-called “truths” – which in fact are just lies we’ve convinced ourselves are true because something in our underlying psyche is holding us back.

So often fear is the culprit. Fear of being left out, singled out, falling behind, standing out. You name it and there is a fear we can attach to it. It’s these fears that narrate the stories we tell ourselves. It’s these fears that drive our behaviours.

I have them too, I may not show it on the outside, but every blog post I publish, I’m fearful of what the reaction might be. Fearful to look at the comments and see something there that I might not like. But that fear only lasts a split second, and I press publish anyways – because I have to. If I don’t, then I’ll never know what might have happened. I’ll always be waiting and wondering. And stuck. Stuck in the same old place, and that’s not where I want to live my life.

What if people actually like what I write? What if they message me that my simple words made a difference to them in their lives, that it helped move them forward? If I let those negative stories rule my decisions, then I would never get any of that positive feedback and let me tell you, that one positive comment can outweigh all the negativity. But if I didn’t press publish, then I would never know, and I’d be stuck in a glass is half empty world, just because I let fear get in the way or I believed the story that I wasn’t good enough.

I realize that not everyone will like what I say or share the same beliefs and feelings as me, and that’s okay, that’s not what it’s all about. For me, it’s about taking that chance and just seeing what happens. If I fail, then I fail. So what? I just get right back at it and try again because I could never live with myself if I didn’t. I just couldn’t, it’s not in my DNA.

Which is why I can sit here now in my lovely renovated backyard (which I did all by myself) and be filled with gratitude and peace. There are still so many things I want to do in my life and I really feel like I’m just beginning, I truly do. But I’m not afraid to try. I refuse to listen to any negative stories that I might try and tell myself. I just let them go in one ear and out the other. I don’t have time for any of that garbage anymore.

My glass is half full and not half empty because that’s how I choose to see it. That has been a conscious decision that I had to make in my life. I could get swallowed up in the pain and the sorrow or I could face my fears, take some baby steps forward, which I did, and now my cup is running over, and I could not be more grateful. I have no clue where my life will go in the long run but I’m so excited to be on this train to find out.

Take a chance on your own life and your own abilities. Change the narrative. You are the star of your story and that story can have a happy, positive path or at least a different path than you’re on right now. It won’t happen all at once, but it won’t happen at all if you don’t take that first step. Start with something easy, like changing your perspective. Look hard at that glass. Real hard. Is it half-full or half-empty?

You decide.